Thursday, January 29, 2009
Please spread the word!!!
Kim and Chris recieved the statement from the clinic this week. It's almost $25,000 and it's due before we can do the procedure in April. They have applied for some grants that specifically help people who are dealing with infertility, but they are not sure if they will even receive a response before the money is due. They are also going to take out a home equity loan but there will still be a significant shortfall. Please please please spread the word about their story. Tell your friends and family; every little bit helps. If you are a part of a church, see if they would be willing to help out. I can assure you that Kimberly and Chris will be grateful for your support--this week has been very trying for them and they are under a lot of financial stress. It is ridiculous that so many insurance companies do not cover infertility procedures. They deserve to have a child and money should not be a barrier to acheiving this goal!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
speedbump...
There's so much to catch everyone up on....sorry for the delay on updating, but things have been so hectic!
First for the good news....we have a timeline! This is a very complicated, scientific process so I'm going to try to explain it as I understand it. I have started taking prenatal vitamins to prepare my body for the baby. Starting around mid-February, I will start taking estrogen to see how it affects my hormone levels. Then I will begin taking the injections. The eggs will be harvested from the egg donor the week preceding Easter, and the eggs will be implanted in my body the following week, the week after Easter (mid April). That is so exciting that we are so close to making a baby for Chris and Kimberly!!!
Now for the not-so-good part. Let me just say that things have been running so smoothly with the process and we have just been so grateful to God for His hand in everything. That being said, none of us expected for the road to be bump-free. For Chris and Kimberly, the journey of having a baby has been a roller coaster, and I'm sure they are emotionally exhausted. And now we have officially hit our first roadblock with the surrogacy. We were originally told by our local insurance rep that the pregnancy would be covered no differently than if I were having my own child. However, this rep has since left the agency and we are now being told the pregnancy will not be covered because the policy excludes surrogacy (I'm sure I'll post about how ridiculous this exclusion is in another post). Needless to say, we felt like we had been punched in the stomach. I cannot even fathom how much it costs to have a baby without insurance, but I'm pretty sure it would more than double the costs of the surrogacy. With all of the doctor appointments, sonograms, hospital stay, medications, etc..., human procreation is an expensive thing. My niece's golden retriever Belle just had puppies and her mom was telling me that Belle bit off each of the six umbilical cords with her teeth. No sonogram, no delivery doctor, no surgical utensils, no epidural. Amazing. Off topic, but amazing. Anyway, I am very grateful that we have the technology and scientific advances to make pregnancy and delivery so much safer, but along with that comes the mula.
I have tried my best to convince Chris and Kim to let me handle the battle with the insurance. They have enough to worry about with figuring out how to pay for the actual in vitro fertilization procedure. For now, we are awaiting a definitive answer from the insurance company bigwigs. If it is confirmed that we will not be covered, we will try to fight. If that fails, we will seek out a separate insurance company to cover maternity. This will not slow us down. Please be in prayer for this situation. We are still hoping to work it out without additional costs. Finally, Chris and Kim could really use some support and encouragement right now with this latest setback. Even if you can only donate a small amount, just the timing of it would serve to show them that they are loved and supported and that God's hand is still moving. I love you guys and thank you for all you have been doing to encourage me! I am very blessed!
http://www.lifelonggift.com/
First for the good news....we have a timeline! This is a very complicated, scientific process so I'm going to try to explain it as I understand it. I have started taking prenatal vitamins to prepare my body for the baby. Starting around mid-February, I will start taking estrogen to see how it affects my hormone levels. Then I will begin taking the injections. The eggs will be harvested from the egg donor the week preceding Easter, and the eggs will be implanted in my body the following week, the week after Easter (mid April). That is so exciting that we are so close to making a baby for Chris and Kimberly!!!
Now for the not-so-good part. Let me just say that things have been running so smoothly with the process and we have just been so grateful to God for His hand in everything. That being said, none of us expected for the road to be bump-free. For Chris and Kimberly, the journey of having a baby has been a roller coaster, and I'm sure they are emotionally exhausted. And now we have officially hit our first roadblock with the surrogacy. We were originally told by our local insurance rep that the pregnancy would be covered no differently than if I were having my own child. However, this rep has since left the agency and we are now being told the pregnancy will not be covered because the policy excludes surrogacy (I'm sure I'll post about how ridiculous this exclusion is in another post). Needless to say, we felt like we had been punched in the stomach. I cannot even fathom how much it costs to have a baby without insurance, but I'm pretty sure it would more than double the costs of the surrogacy. With all of the doctor appointments, sonograms, hospital stay, medications, etc..., human procreation is an expensive thing. My niece's golden retriever Belle just had puppies and her mom was telling me that Belle bit off each of the six umbilical cords with her teeth. No sonogram, no delivery doctor, no surgical utensils, no epidural. Amazing. Off topic, but amazing. Anyway, I am very grateful that we have the technology and scientific advances to make pregnancy and delivery so much safer, but along with that comes the mula.
I have tried my best to convince Chris and Kim to let me handle the battle with the insurance. They have enough to worry about with figuring out how to pay for the actual in vitro fertilization procedure. For now, we are awaiting a definitive answer from the insurance company bigwigs. If it is confirmed that we will not be covered, we will try to fight. If that fails, we will seek out a separate insurance company to cover maternity. This will not slow us down. Please be in prayer for this situation. We are still hoping to work it out without additional costs. Finally, Chris and Kim could really use some support and encouragement right now with this latest setback. Even if you can only donate a small amount, just the timing of it would serve to show them that they are loved and supported and that God's hand is still moving. I love you guys and thank you for all you have been doing to encourage me! I am very blessed!
http://www.lifelonggift.com/
Saturday, January 10, 2009
We passed!!!
As I mentioned in my last post, we had two major tests yesterday that would determine if we could proceed with the surrogacy. First, we went in for an ultrasound of my uterus. Kimberly and Davison respectfully stayed in the lobby for this process. It went extremely well compared to what I had been imagining. I will say a little note here to "female doctors": (guys-skip to next paragraph) Please do NOT tell your patient to put her feet in the stirrups until you are ready to perform the examination. I had to lie in that position yesterday for a good five minutes, completely mortified, while she discussed holiday meals with the nurse. I'm sorry, but it's not a good time to discuss turkey and dressing. Other than that, the procedure lasted 5-10 minutes and was relatively painless.
The first thing the doctor said when examining my internal makeup on the screen was that I had a "beautiful uterus, but that I probably knew that already." I told her I did not know that and was very relieved to hear this information. In fact, I almost cried right then and there because one of my biggest fears about offering to be a surrogate was that I would get Kimberly and Chris's hopes up, only to find out my body was not equipped for pregnancy. I feel that they have had their dream of having a baby crushed so many times, I wasn't sure if I could take doing that to them another time. I closed my eyes on the examining table while she continued to probe around, and held back tears while I thanked God repeatedly for this incredible news. When the procedure was done, I went out into the lobby and hugged Kimberly and told her that the doctor said our uterus was beautiful.
Davison and I then headed to the psychologist appointment. I again was nervous, because I do not have the best mental health history. As many of you know, I suffered from depression for two years during my stint at law school. My family also does not have a great physical or mental health record. I was very open and honest about all of this. The psychologist was very easy to talk to and it wasn't at all the painful awkward event I was expecting. As always, Davison lightened the mood with his silly comments. He has been incredibly supportive and solid for me throughout this whole experience and I fall more in love with him everyday.
At the end of the second meeting with all four of us, the doctor told us she saw no reasons that the surrogacy process should not continue and she wished us the best of luck with it. Now that the preliminary tests are out of the way, there will most likely be a few weeks of downtime with the process and then things should pick up full force.
Today is Kimberly's birthday so we had a mini celebration yesterday at a greek restaurant with strawberry ice cream cake afterward. We really had a lot to celebrate when I think about how smoothly things have gone so far. We were all pretty physically and emotionally exhausted with all the excitement yesterday. I cried on the way home just because it had been such an emotional day and thanked Day for all of his amazing understanding. I put my head on his shoulder as he drove home and finally allowed myself to relax. I cannot say it enough...I am blessed beyond comprehension.
The first thing the doctor said when examining my internal makeup on the screen was that I had a "beautiful uterus, but that I probably knew that already." I told her I did not know that and was very relieved to hear this information. In fact, I almost cried right then and there because one of my biggest fears about offering to be a surrogate was that I would get Kimberly and Chris's hopes up, only to find out my body was not equipped for pregnancy. I feel that they have had their dream of having a baby crushed so many times, I wasn't sure if I could take doing that to them another time. I closed my eyes on the examining table while she continued to probe around, and held back tears while I thanked God repeatedly for this incredible news. When the procedure was done, I went out into the lobby and hugged Kimberly and told her that the doctor said our uterus was beautiful.
Davison and I then headed to the psychologist appointment. I again was nervous, because I do not have the best mental health history. As many of you know, I suffered from depression for two years during my stint at law school. My family also does not have a great physical or mental health record. I was very open and honest about all of this. The psychologist was very easy to talk to and it wasn't at all the painful awkward event I was expecting. As always, Davison lightened the mood with his silly comments. He has been incredibly supportive and solid for me throughout this whole experience and I fall more in love with him everyday.
At the end of the second meeting with all four of us, the doctor told us she saw no reasons that the surrogacy process should not continue and she wished us the best of luck with it. Now that the preliminary tests are out of the way, there will most likely be a few weeks of downtime with the process and then things should pick up full force.
Today is Kimberly's birthday so we had a mini celebration yesterday at a greek restaurant with strawberry ice cream cake afterward. We really had a lot to celebrate when I think about how smoothly things have gone so far. We were all pretty physically and emotionally exhausted with all the excitement yesterday. I cried on the way home just because it had been such an emotional day and thanked Day for all of his amazing understanding. I put my head on his shoulder as he drove home and finally allowed myself to relax. I cannot say it enough...I am blessed beyond comprehension.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Just another day in the life of a surrogate...uterus ultrasounds and expensive therapy exploring the scars of my childhood.
Quick Update:
Friday I will go back to the fertility clinic to have an ultrasound of my uterus. Okay, if any guys are reading this, you may want to stop at this point. Apparently there is strict method of how this works there. I have to go on the 3rd day of my period, which is kind of difficult since the clinic is in Columbia and I'm in Greenville. I can't just stop by on my lunch break for them to check out my babymaking organs and send me on my way. It was pretty funny trying to schedule this appointment, because I was not 100 percent sure when that third day would be. Not wanting to wait until the last minute to make an appointment, I called and said, "I think it will be this date but there's no way to know for sure, should I go ahead and set up a time and call back if it doesn't work out?" Her response (which sounded obvious after she said it) was that I would need to call back on the first day so they would know for sure. And guess what? God was amazing and He planned it so that the day I would need the ultrasound was the same day I had already scheduled to be in Columbia for our "interview" with the psychologist. (Yes, I believe that God planned my period so I wouldn't have to miss two days of work or make two trips to Columbia in the same week. He's so cool like that.)
So I will be getting my first uterus ultrasound this Friday and I'm kind of nervous. I, in all my naivete, thought it was just like the ultrasound you see on tv. They rub gel on your belly and slide this instrument around and you see it on the screen. However, Kimberly told me about a very different type of ultrasound where there insert an instrument inside me to "take pictures." I'm really hoping that's not the kind of ultrasound I'm getting on the third day of my period. That will be highly uncomfortable and awkward for me and the doctor I would imagine. And I don't think I'll let Davison come in the room for that.
Now that I have grossed you all out, let me tell you about my other appointment that day. It will be with a very well paid psychologist who specializes in surrogacy. She met with Chris and Kim for two hours on Monday and asked them all about their family history and tough questions about complications that may arise with the surrogacy. She even asked if they had thought about how they would handle it if I died during this process! She had them crying! So I'm super nervous. Davison and I will meet with her for two hours and then we will meet with her for another two hours (in the same day) with all four of us together. Couples counseling with another couple--yet another one of the many firsts I get to experience! I will definitely let you all know how it goes.
Now back to gross stuff. Kimberly told me today that Chris had informed her that he would not be watching the baby being born. He said it would make him uncomfortable and most likely make me and Davison uncomfortable as well. Bless his soul!! It was definitely something I had thought about but decided it was going to be his decision since it is his child and I would get over my modesty and selfishness for the sake of a father and his newborn. Heck, I told Davison I didn't want him watching our own child being born (which he is not buying-but I think it's a valid argument since I don't get to watch either). Needless to say, I'm relieved. I was also very relieved when Kim told me there would be no videotaping or pictures taken of the birthing process. I did not want that showing up on youtube one day. Gross.
Friday I will go back to the fertility clinic to have an ultrasound of my uterus. Okay, if any guys are reading this, you may want to stop at this point. Apparently there is strict method of how this works there. I have to go on the 3rd day of my period, which is kind of difficult since the clinic is in Columbia and I'm in Greenville. I can't just stop by on my lunch break for them to check out my babymaking organs and send me on my way. It was pretty funny trying to schedule this appointment, because I was not 100 percent sure when that third day would be. Not wanting to wait until the last minute to make an appointment, I called and said, "I think it will be this date but there's no way to know for sure, should I go ahead and set up a time and call back if it doesn't work out?" Her response (which sounded obvious after she said it) was that I would need to call back on the first day so they would know for sure. And guess what? God was amazing and He planned it so that the day I would need the ultrasound was the same day I had already scheduled to be in Columbia for our "interview" with the psychologist. (Yes, I believe that God planned my period so I wouldn't have to miss two days of work or make two trips to Columbia in the same week. He's so cool like that.)
So I will be getting my first uterus ultrasound this Friday and I'm kind of nervous. I, in all my naivete, thought it was just like the ultrasound you see on tv. They rub gel on your belly and slide this instrument around and you see it on the screen. However, Kimberly told me about a very different type of ultrasound where there insert an instrument inside me to "take pictures." I'm really hoping that's not the kind of ultrasound I'm getting on the third day of my period. That will be highly uncomfortable and awkward for me and the doctor I would imagine. And I don't think I'll let Davison come in the room for that.
Now that I have grossed you all out, let me tell you about my other appointment that day. It will be with a very well paid psychologist who specializes in surrogacy. She met with Chris and Kim for two hours on Monday and asked them all about their family history and tough questions about complications that may arise with the surrogacy. She even asked if they had thought about how they would handle it if I died during this process! She had them crying! So I'm super nervous. Davison and I will meet with her for two hours and then we will meet with her for another two hours (in the same day) with all four of us together. Couples counseling with another couple--yet another one of the many firsts I get to experience! I will definitely let you all know how it goes.
Now back to gross stuff. Kimberly told me today that Chris had informed her that he would not be watching the baby being born. He said it would make him uncomfortable and most likely make me and Davison uncomfortable as well. Bless his soul!! It was definitely something I had thought about but decided it was going to be his decision since it is his child and I would get over my modesty and selfishness for the sake of a father and his newborn. Heck, I told Davison I didn't want him watching our own child being born (which he is not buying-but I think it's a valid argument since I don't get to watch either). Needless to say, I'm relieved. I was also very relieved when Kim told me there would be no videotaping or pictures taken of the birthing process. I did not want that showing up on youtube one day. Gross.
Also I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet but this whole procedure is costing Chris and Kim over $20,000. Being a young couple, they do not have this kind of money lying around. They have created a website -- http://www.lifelonggift.com/ --in order to allow friends and family to contribute to this amazing process. So far I think they have raised around $3,500!!! If you have any rich friends or family, please send them to the website. There is an AWESOME video about Kimberly's childhood battle with cancer that shows more of her story. And there are several pictures of her and Chris and I think you can tell from their sweet smiles just how great they are and why I fell in love with them instantly.
Well it's getting late, but I did want to let you guys know what's going on because I do SO VERY MUCH appreciate everyone's support and prayers. You guys are awesome and I love you.
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