Biopsy Week Blues

We did five days of injections and then I went in for a biopsy. All of the poking, prodding, and scraping finally got the best of me. I'm sure the insane amount of hormones introduced into my system didn't help either. I broke down on Monday when we didn't numb the injection site well enough, causing me to jump a few inches and Davison to jerk the needle out, tearing my skin and causing the blood to flow. I just cried for a good ten minutes while he hugged me. It wasn't as much from the pain (although it did hurt!) as it was from the stress of trying to keep to this strict schedule of complicated medications and doctors appointments. There's a lot of pressure in trying not to mess up something so important for someone. I have a 2x2x2 cardboard box full of meds. Patches, pills, needles...you name it, I got it. Antibiotics, steroids, a valium for the procedure, birth control, estrogen. I think this whole process will cause me to go organic knowing what those chickens go through to get big and strong for us to eat them.

On Tuesday morning, I went in for a biopsy. Everything was fine and then all of a sudden I felt like the doctor pinched a piece of my uterus off, but she really was only scraping. I jumped again. The tears started coming. The bit she scraped was not enough so she had to do it a second time. I just lay there in silence, unable to stop the tears and embarassed to be crying in front of an audience. The nurse was very empathetic (She's pregnant from an IVF cycle the previous month so she's been in my place) and discreetly brought me some tissue. It was actually a relatively "easy" biopsy, as I had no cramping or spotting afterward.

Kimberly has also been through all of this before when the doctors tried to determine if her body could support a pregnancy. It helps me tremendously that she knows what to expect and gives me all these tips. It breaks my heart that she jumped through all these hoops, only to be told it was not a viable option.

I find out the results of the biopsy on Tuesday I think. I don't know what's after that. I don't know what I will be doing from one week to the next. They don't lay out the schedule for you so you know what's coming, because it's all based on your test results from week to week. They have to make sure my hormone levels are where they should be and that my uterus lining is thickening appropriately so that the embryos will attach.



Carolina Care Plan is not going to cover the pregnancy. I bold their name because I think it is unacceptable that insurance companies can discriminate against couples who are infertile by not covering surrogacy pregnancies. We got official word on Friday. The woman who delivered the news acted as though she was delivering me a basket of fresh fruit. She even had the nerve to tell me to "have a great weekend!!" It was devastating. We are fighting it. I'm mailing the appeal letter today. We don't really have time to wait out the appeals process, so we are looking for alternatives. The only policies we have found cost around $20,000, which may be way more than the pregnancy will cost if everything is normal. Plus, since we only have six weeks left, there is no time to come up with that type of money. We may have to proceed without insurance and work with a company that can negotiate with the providers for reduced fees. We are low on options. Please pray for this!

I know that God wants this to happen and I have felt His hand in this the entire time. I know He will work out a way for this baby to be born!